A child comes into care and needs a foster family every 22 minutes across the UK. This statistic comes from The Fostering Network, the national charity responsible for Foster Care Fortnight which starts on Monday until 27 May.

Warwickshire’s Fostering Service is supporting the campaign which raises awareness of fostering and encourages more people to consider this career. To mark the campaign, the service have launched a mini-blog. The Warwickshire fostering blog will feature stories from Warwickshire carers who have kindly shared their experiences, like Jamie and Maxine Chapman (pictured) whose account of fostering is featured below.

Details about information events taking place in towns around the county are also listed on the Warwickshire fostering blog, along with local and national news, and links to the fostering service’s website which has lots of information for anyone interested in becoming a foster carer.

In Warwickshire there are different types of foster care, depending on the needs of children and young people and the carer stories will give different examples for people to consider.

They include short term foster care from a couple of months to a couple of years, to permanent foster care where a child who cannot live with their own family stays with a family throughout childhood and onto adulthood.

Full training and support is given to foster carers, who are matched to one or more of the different foster care schemes, depending on what suits their lifestyles and commitments. Carers are paid an allowance which reflects the real cost of looking after a child.

Visit the Warwickshire fostering blog to support Foster Care Fortnight and find out more about fostering in Warwickshire.

Fostering good relationships – Jamie and Maxine

Jamie and Maxine Chapman are Warwickshire foster carers who live in Coventry with their seven year old daughter Ruby. The couple also have an older son, Matt, who is in his twenties and has moved out of home.

They have been approved long term and respite carers for almost two and a half years and in this time have looked after three teenage boys. They are also ‘Staying Put’ carers, which means they are able to continue to provide a home for young people after their eighteenth birthday. Currently they are looking after two boys, one of whom has been with them from the start.

Jamie and Maxine became carers as they enjoy parenting with all its day to day challenges and felt they had the time, space and desire to offer a home to children who through no fault of their own had missed out on a happy family life. Speaking with foster carer friends, they became more aware of the difficult lives some of the children coming into care have faced and they wanted to help make a difference.

At first the couple were unsure of what type of foster carers they would be but with support from Warwickshire Fostering Service they were matched to the teenage scheme which they have found very rewarding. Jamie said: “One of the advantages of fostering is that we can review the support we offer as circumstances change within the family, whilst this arrangement suits us at the moment thing may change as Ruby gets older so Warwickshire’s different schemes will allow us to adapt.”

As part of Foster Care Fortnight, Maxine and Jamie have spoken about their experiences to help make people more aware of what life is like for a foster family.

Maxine said: “You’ve got to be intuitive as parents to try to overcome things just as you would do with your own children so it is important to take time to get to know the young people in your care so you can offer them the right emotional support.

“We’re just like a big family and include the boys we’ve looked after in every aspect of family life to decision making to days out and holidays. Everyone has learnt so much from each other and we’ve tried lots of new things. All the children’s interests are different but when we’re together everyone has been happy to try out new things such as horse riding and football which Ruby really enjoys.

“We’ve come up against behaviour and education issues in the past with the boys who have been very disengaged and disillusioned. We’ve worked with them to get them back on track, raise their self-worth and help them to achieve and make them see that they have the same opportunities as their peers.

“Being a teenager is tough enough without the stigma of being in care and we have found that this has often presented in challenging behaviour such as lying and stealing. In these situations we have found sticking to our care plan and safeguarding ourselves through clear boundary setting and introducing trust to nurture respect has helped.

“Low confidence is also common so we do what we can to encourage the young people to make their own decisions but to also understand the consequences of their actions. We do a lot of looking back and forgiving which helps them move forward and become strong enough to tackle issues that they come up against.

“A lot of people have a bad perception of children in care and assume they must be naughty or hard to control. In most cases however it’s a case of bad parenting and the young people can’t be held at fault. They carry a great weight around with them and have different priorities to other children. We try to teach them that it is the experiences they have endured not them which seems to help them accept the situation.

Jamie continued: “Due to the lack of stability in their own lives we often feel a bit like a sticking plaster holding things together on a day to day basis but the positives of this job far outweigh any obstacles we face. At the start of a placement our boys have been shy and withdrawn with their heads down but once they realise they are safe and secure you see the head begin to lift and as their confidence grows.

“When you hear about the things they have achieved, or they may cook you a meal or invite you to a parents’ evening it’s a wonderful feeling – knowing that you’ve played a part makes us feel proud – of them and us.

“Fostering is a very fulfilling experience and almost anyone with an adaptable attitude and the right expectations of the role could do it – ‘if you think you can do it you probably can’. Having said that there are some attributes a carer needs to make the job easier. Patience and perseverance are necessary as things take time from approval as a carer, through the training and in every placement. Prospective carers can’t expect to see a difference immediately but should know that extending friendship and concern to the young people is a great first step.

“Tolerance and compassion are also essential qualities in order to understand what children have been through and offer the right support to them. Clear boundaries help give structure and routine but a carer needs to be flexible too and expect these to be stretched before they are pulled back. It’s also important not to hold grudges or take things personally, there will be arguments and things will get broken but work through it. We find it helps to make clear to the young people that whilst this is their home we expect them to put aside their issues, get involved with family life, and return the same respect and kindness we extend to them.

“I would urge anyone thinking about fostering to find out as much as they can. It is a job with huge responsibility but that shouldn’t put anyone off as excellent training and support is available at every step from the fostering service and foster carer support groups. Be open-minded and talk to the fostering social worker about the kind of care you could offer. We learned so much about ourselves through the approval process so expect some surprises too.

“It’s extremely important for us as carers to take time for all the relationships in our life so we don’t lose sight of your own family. We make sure we support and listen to one another so no one’s needs are missed and we keep reminding ourselves why we doing this.”